So. Still finding myself going around the old provision mountain. Still learning. Still growing. Still being über stretched. No time for a breather on the mountain of provision, that's for sure! It seems as if no sooner have I learned one lesson that God has another lesson for me to grasp. Soooo, if you have read my Mountain Miracles blog, you will be aware that I have decided that I am not going to worry whatsoever when it comes to finances. I am standing my ground. Since this fresh resolve in my soul, I have continued to stand my ground even when the end of the month has come and gone and the money for my rent has eluded moi. I have continued to stand my ground when Christmas has been ten days away and I have has didley squat to buy any Christmas presents. I have stood my ground when festive celebrations have been totally out of my reach for lack of funds. I have stood my ground, refusing to believe that God will let me down because I have come to know deep in my soul that He is faithful to His word and His word is altogether trustworthy.
I have been encouraged therefore, when I have been miraculously blessed with funds and had a sale here so I can pay my bills. I have rejoiced when I have lovingly made some of my presents instead. I have been overjoyed when suddenly a completely random tax refund has shown up in my account nine days before Christmas and paid for the rest of my presents and my rent. I have been filled with faith as I have heard God whisper into my soul..."keep spending...as you get it, keep giving it away...don't hoard it...don't put it aside for the bills which are due later in the month...trust me...faith is now...spend now...don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow has enough worries of it's own."
Eeeek. New dimensions of faith required. See though normally of course I'm prettyaccustomed to trusting God to provide for me last minute.com...yet I feel most peace when He brings me enough money ahead of time and I can see that yes I have enough to cover me for the whole of the month...great stuff...yet He is teaching me a new lesson...a very VERY uncomfortable lesson...where instead of getting enough for the month I have to find peace in knowing that I simply have enough for today. I am to spend lavishly with what He gives me for today...like the children of Israel who had manna rained down from heaven. They were not allowed to store it...hide it or hoard it. They had to trust God for fresh Manna for the next day and the next. That's where I'm at right now. Saving for a rainy day or rent isn't an option.
So, though it seems I only have enough for today, I am nevertheless spending it...I am giving it away...I am letting it go...refusing to waiver in trusting Him afresh each day...learning a whole new level of what "NOW" faith looks like. Learning next level confidence...that as I trust God to supply all my needs today...I know that I know that I know that I know....that He will bring what I need for tomorrow...tomorrow.