He Grows His Roses On Our Barren Souls

He grows His Roses On Our Barren Souls.

These gorgeous words come from a song that I’ve been listening to nonstop and in this season, they have become to me, a sweet anthem for my soul. This morning, I found these lyrics releasing a fresh melody of deliciousness into the atmosphere, as I read about Jesus’ crucifixion in the Gospels. As my thoughts lingered on each verse, I began to consider all the saints that had been raised from the dead, the very moment Jesus breathed His last at Calvary. 

I suddenly found myself weeping as I read the account in Matthew, because I was so acutely reminded that God is in the business of making dead things alive. That, because He died, we get to live. Even when we may not even recognise that we are dead. Or when we think we have lost ALL hope. Or even when we don’t even ask God to revive us. 

Yet to abide IN HIM - in the Resurrected One - IS to be FULLY ALIVE. And whether we ask for our dead places to be made alive again or whether we wonder if our dry bones can ever live, or whether we have become comfortable and complacent in our grave clothes…the bottom line is that Jesus takes dead things, dead people, dead situations and makes them alive. Fully ALIVE. 

Even when all hope seems to be gone and even when our souls appear to be too barren to even conceive life. Even then, He is more than able and willing to resurrect every dead thing.

“But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ.” Ephesians 2:4-5

I love this scripture. I have hung out in this verse for hours upon hours. It means so much to me, because I regularly find myself reflecting on the corpse that I once was. It’s truly insane to think that I once was a walking, talking, dancing, drug-taking, cigarette-smoking, bed-hopping, provocatively-dressing, makeup-adorning corpse…following the deadly course of this world…driven by sheer darkness and death. 

And then Jesus being so rich in mercy and because of His great love, made me alive. He delivered and drew me to Himself out of the control and the dominion of darkness and transferred me into the kingdom of the Son of His love. It’s still insane to consider that such a thing is even possible. Yet that’s what He does. Because of His great and wonderful love, He resurrects corpses. He makes dead things alive. He miraculously breathes spirit and breathe into the driest of bones, He adds sinew, flesh, skin and makes that which was once dead, ALIVE…FULLY ALIVE.

As you read this post, I don’t know if there are dead places in your heart that need resurrecting today, or situations that seem impossible to resolve or relationships that seem utterly unreconcilable, but may I just remind you of God’s resurrection power and His crazy craaaaaazy love, which is actively working on your behalf today? May I also remind you that NOTHING is ever so dead that Jesus cannot explode it with His resurrection power and His kind intent and grow the most beautiful, sweetest of smelling roses in what might seem like the most barren of souls. x 

Hello Majesty...I almost didn't see You there...

I am not gonna lie, for a while this moment in time had turned into quite the pooey season. Yet praaaaaaise - I find myself, by the sweet sweet grace of God once again, in a fresh place of hope; finding pearls in the pain and discovering fresh vision amongst the cloudiness that had so heavily eclipsed my world for the last six weeks. Not sure if anyone can relate?

I meeeean it all started off SO lush!! I was totally enjoying quarantine. I consider my last blog post and I smile as I ponder in hindsight just how excitedly I had braced myself for the NEW NORMAL. I was soooo expectant that it would be glorious and that there was a place of pressing in that we all needed to embark on in order to hear from God and to partner with heaven.

And that is totally what I did do. Gave myself fully to it. And it was SO glorious. Like I mean it was the stuff the sweetest of dreams were made of. I was in seventh heaven and filled with SUCH expectation! I was literarily blown away with all the hours of praying I was finding myself engaging in - like more than I had ever before. I was so overflowing with soul-joy at the encounters I was having, breaking bread, worshipping Him or simply just experiencing ridiculous delish glorrray in the Word, sometimes before I’d even opened my Bible.

I was captivated, heart full - all guns blazing diving into this 2020 Passover unlike any other we had apparently ever known…the promises of a literal Pentecost were upon us like we never could have imagined. I was praying Joel 2:28-29 all over the place - so so so pumped for what was gonna be unleashed as earth was bracing it self for heaven to show up. I mean in my glorrray bubble COVID-19 seemed like it was happening on another planet - because in my world…with just Jesus, me, my prayers and His presence this was one blissful SELAH season that I just couldn’t get enough of.

And then Pentecost came. And with it, George Floyd’s death. And somehow everything exploded. My world came crashing down. And all this expectation…months of praying and pressing in…and crazy hope…and anticipation for heaven on earth…IT ALL JUST CRASHED! I literally didn’t know what to do.

Suddenly as the darkness of all that’s going on in our world closed in, I had and still have so many mixed feelings about what was going on that I found myself totally unable to pray. I was filled with so much sorrow and disappointment. It’s like my mouth was on mute as my heart ached non-stop.

Everything that I had ever found normal, familiar, safe, stabilising and purposeful fell out from beneath my feet and I found myself out at sea. It went on week after week where I would just weep in God’s presence, devoid of any zeal and filled with such sadness. I just couldn't see God anywhere that I looked. And I mourned His presence in the way I had known it so powerfully only weeks before. I know it sounds so melodramatic but its honestly what was happening in my inners. Everyone kept talking about everything that could be shaken being shaken and it actually felt like that for sure.

But after about a month of this incredibly sucky wilderness, I had a beautiful encounter with Jesus, that shifted things a little. I’d had a beautiful conversation with my bestie the night before, that helped my heart to see a little better and then the next morning I sat in James 1:2-4 where it says “Consider it wholly joyful, my brethren, whenever you are enveloped in or encounter trials of any sort or fall into various temptations. Be assured and understand that the trial and proving of your faith bring out endurance and steadfastness and patience. But let endurance and steadfastness and patience have full play and do a thorough work, so that you may be [people] perfectly and fully developed [with no defects], lacking in nothing.”

And as I studied this passage I came across this amazing story about a young girl called Marie Durant…told by John Piper. In the late 17th century, in southern France, Marie was brought before the authorities and charged with the Huguenot heresy (being a Reformed Protestant). “She was fourteen years old, bright, attractive, marriageable.” She was asked to recant her Huguenot faith. “She was not asked to commit an immoral act, to become a criminal, or even to change the day-to-day quality of her behavior.” She was only asked to say, “I recant.” She refused. Together with thirty other Huguenot women, she was put into a tower by the sea and left there for 38 years. She and her fellow martyrs scratched on the wall of their prison tower the single word, “Resist!” Tourists still see and gape at that word on that stone.”

John Piper then says the following words in this study: “We can understand a religion which enhances time… But we cannot understand a faith which is not nourished by the temporal hope that tomorrow things will be better. To sit in a prison room with thirty others and to see the day change into night and summer into autumn, to feel the slow systemic changes within one’s flesh: the drying and wrinkling of the skin, the loss of muscle tone, the stiffening of the joints, the slow stupefaction of the senses—to feel all this and still to persevere seems almost idiotic to a generation which has no capacity to wait and to endure.”

This mashed me up. It revived me no end. It was so so true right??? Radical hope is a rarity. Hope like this precious one and all the Huguenot women walked in is sheer lunacy to humanity - unless you have an understanding of the beauty, resurrection and crazy comfort that can only come when you recognise that there is a hope that goes far far beyond the temporal…it’s hope that is eternal, and we as believers have the option of being prisoners of it because Christ is within us the hope of glory. And because it’s a hope built upon the Rock, it pierces through the temporary, through the circumstantial - and it sets your feet on solid ground - even in the shakiest of storms.

Jesus then, in that moment of encounter assured me that because I belong to Him and because He lives in me, no matter what - I can always have hope. Eternal hope. And even when a situation seems hopeless and that the poo really has hit the fan…irrespective of what it may look like on the outside, there is ALWAYS eternal hope exploding through even thee most dire of circumstances - if I am willing to see beyond the mess…and peer into the majesty.

He then reminded me that the Cross looked like the greatest defeat of all time. What a sorry situation that would’ve looked like at the time. The perceived mess of Calvary. The utter horror of it. It looked like the enemy had completely won, right? Yet Calvary was exploding with majesty. And then I felt Jesus say to me “Bobbi every moment of every day is pulsating with my majesty and I need you to see it. I need you to focus your eyes and to see…”My majesty in the mess. My majesty in the mediocre. My majesty in the mundane.”

Aaaah Lord!!!! You are just so good. That moment was so life giving. So refreshing. So filled with hope. And then in that same encounter He led me to Hebrews 10:35-36 which has been a proper life verse over this season and He reminded me:

Do not, therefore, fling away your fearless confidence, for it carries a great and glorious compensation of reward. For you have need of steadfast patience and endurance, so that you may perform and fully accomplish the will of God, and thus receive and carry away [and enjoy to the full] what is promised.

And then once again I was so encouraged, as I am time and time again whenever I get smacked in the face with this scripture that dohhhhhh of course!!!! That’s what I need - I just need steadfast patience and endurance. And so that what I found myself praying and seeking.

Yet if truth be told, even then I struggled to move forward. Smiles. It’s quite crazy really…Because I had fresh hope. I felt fresh comfort. But my prayers remained silent. And I still couldn't see a future ahead of me. I missed praying so much. Yet my heart seemed to be on mute. It’s been such a stubborn season of barrenness. Even when there’s been refreshing its been only temporary. A trickle of respite before the void kicks in again. I feel like during this quarantine there may perhaps be others who can relate.

And then when I thought things couldn’t actually get any harder…God got my attention, told me some home truths and began to do a deep work in my heart. And it was so painful. He broke me. He crushed me. Like totally pressed me and He is still doing it. He showed me stuff in my heart that isn’t pleasing to Him. He showed me I needed to repent. Like whaaaaat?! What a total heartbreak - I mean its quite the shocker when you think the brass ceiling you’re experiencing in your time with God is because of circumstances and then you find out it’s because of your own heart. Aaaaaaahhh so hard.

And so I began to repent. And that’s all I’ve been doing for the last two weeks and after two weeks of being on my face crying out for mercy, I have finally after six weeks found my place in Him again. I had found my voice again. My prayers have returned and my vision is being restored. Gosh, mercy is a beautiful thing. So undeserved. So kind. Yet even as mercy so compassionately saves us from ourselves, she also pours herself out in our places of brokenness, tending to our lost fragmented places:

“I am a never-ending fountain of living water, and I long to pour myself into every dry, cracked, and broken area of your life. Do you feel me now, reaching into your pain with my healing love? Listen, and you’ll hear my rushing river flowing through you as it washes away the debris of confusion and disillusionment, clearing away the dry dusty remains of disappointment so you can clearly see the joy I have in store for you.

No trauma is too great for the power of my love. The biggest gaping holes—the areas of your life that feel empty and void—become openings for me to pour myself into, when you invite me. So invite me, and I will come. I will fill you with myself, turn mourning into joy, replace heaviness with hope, and till the soil of your heart so beauty blooms from the ashes. Drink deeply of my love, and it will transform you—mind, body, and soul. Set your eyes on me today, and offer me your pain once and for all. Swim in my healing waters and allow the currents of my love to lead you into wholeness.”

So so good. I found so much joy in receiving this in my inbox a week ago. I have reread it so many times because it washes over my soul again and again and it feels so comforting. This time round, the refreshing of these words and my fresh places of drinking from God’s presence have lasted and these words have been life. And as I continue to move towards a new place of strength I look back at the last post I put up about the NEW NORMAL where I speak about a purging, a humbling, a suffering so that He may be glorified but actually at that time of writing I have no idea of what i’m about to step into lol. I have no idea that partnering with God isn’t going to look like I thought it would look like. In fact it’s gonna actually suck. Smiles.

Yet I am recognising that the whole while, even as part of this season has been hard and I have wondered how there could have been such a unholy glitch in the heavenly matrix where my sweet selah season got so uncomfortably interrupted with all this heartache and craziness - that I am actually still very much being prepared for this new normal. Even in the crushing, the darkness, the confusion and the cloudiness - even then I am partnering with God for all that He has in store.

And this season may not feel like sexy Christianity where it’s super attractive and makes someone look like they’re living their best life. Nope. Instead it’s humbling and heartbreaking and I don’t know what I’m doing.

Yet even in the not knowing, I’m still headed towards that new normal. And in stark contrast to my last blog video, as I move further along into this unprecedented season, I no longer have any kind of grid of what it’s going to look like. And that is totally okay.

But what I do know is that I don’t want to even step into it until Jesus is done breaking me, shaking me and shaping me. And I certainly don’t want to step into the new with any of my old junk. I’m okay right now, just leaning into the process, praying and envisioning again.

And thankfully…I’m beginning to once again glimpse the glory in the grime and it feels so so sweet.

And for now, that is all the hope that I need…for me to be able to behold even a little of the majesty exploding out of the messy places of my world. x

The New Normal

This quarantine will come to an end. When it does, will we be those who would have simply survived this global glitch in the matrix, expecting to just resume life as normal. Or will we be those who recognise that things will never return back to normal post COVID-19 and that God has allowed the reset button to be pressed in each and every one of our lives to establish a new normal.

And this new normal that is imminently arriving for each and every one of us - has the divine capacity to be a personalised, heavenly blueprint for each individual, prayerfully carved out in the solitude compelled by this quarantine, found within the hidden places of intimacy and communion with God - as we choose to use this time well.

This is not a time to be a mere spectator. It is not a time to drink from the spiritual wells of another person’s pursuit of God. And as powerful and precious as the counsel and prophetic revelations of those that hear from God are, they simply cannot replace our own pursuit, to press in and hear from God for ourselves in His Word, in prayer and communion - so that we can truly know what His new normal for each and every one of us.

May we not settle for second hand direction during these glorious times when God is calling us partner with Him and to walk with Him in the closest of unions. May we be intimately acquainted with the plans and purposes the He has for us as we allow Him to divinely direct us out of this unprecedented season into our promised land.

x

Sierra Leone Trip 2020

I was pleasantly surprised to find myself returning to Sierra Leone so quickly after my pretty recent visit there last year! This time I was invited out there to speak at Sierra Leone’s very first Breakthrough Conference! I have had the honour of speaking at several London Breakthrough Conferences and to be taken out there to speak at their Sierra Leonian launch was such an honour! And a treat!

I was blown away by the generosity and favour I received! Not only was the whole trip paid for, but I was then additionally blessed financially by different people including folks out there. Like whaaaat? It was such a lavish blessing!

Not only did God smash the socks out of Sierra Leone at the conference but I was also able to spend a couple of days back at Living Seeds with the Flourish designers and see how they are getting along. I meeeean what a treat! It was such a joy to see them and be with them. It’s like I never left. They literally explode my heart with such joy.

The ministry trip ended with a glorious day at the beach simply getting our chill on and it was so lush. Being out there for just over a week was a beautiful getaway with eternal weight and a kiss from heaven…filled with SONshine. I made a vlog of my time out there. Feel free to watch it here.

Music: Silver by Moby. Courtesy of Mobygratis.com.

Hello 2020. Hello Inheritance...

To say I’ve been pumped about this new decade would be an understatement. It’s crazy actually because it suddenly just happened. I suddenly stepped into this momentum ten days before the end of the last decade as it dawned on me how crucial it was for me to finish the last decade well and step into the new decade with intentionality and divine alignment. 

Now don’t get me wrong - I’m all about finishing well. Anyone close to me will tell you that I’m big on ending seasons with fullness, completion, confidence and integrity. And only four days before my sober, heaven fuelled wake up call about stepping full wack into Gods clock I’d posted a post about this very thing. Finish Well. Yet when I posted this post on Sacred Sexuality’s Insta account it was something I knew I, we all needed to do with intentionality yet it hadn’t happened for me. Somehow I’d instead found myself in a bit of a stupor as the end of a decade drew closer. I was hardly preparing for it. On the contrary after a very lazy two months of resting and taking some time out a slightly lethargic posture had recently crept up on me which had rendered me almost passive about what was in fact a crucial life-shaping transition into ANOTHER DECADE…ERRR HELLOOOOO! 

Yet on the 21st of December I found myself awoken out of my stupor as God spoke into my heart...impressing particular things into my spirit which had me on my feet like nobodies business. It went a little something like this...

How you end this decade is how you start the new one Bobbi

If you’ve got tons of laundry sitting in your laundry basket on New Years eve you can piles of dirty washing and lack housework for the next decade…

If you’ve got any debt at all on your credit card as you enter 2020…you can expect to be in the red in the new decade

If you are scatty with your admin and behind with filing then news flash…the new decade will be filled with the same…

And on and on it went…God addressing prayer, relationships, habits…housekeeper…I meaaaaaan He literally gave me an intricate break down of all the loose ends that He wanted me to tie up so that I would start the new decade with a clean slate and a clear road…it was so distinctive…so specific and so so sobering…And of course I know He May not necessarily have been saying this to others…but I know for a fact this is what He was saying to me!

So…I began to partner with God immediately and with only ten days of the decade left I began to visualise the kind of decade I want to experience and the things that I don’t want to take into it and I began to pray like crazy and properly press in…asking God for a supernatural, heaven-fuelled grace to truly finish well…to indeed tie up all loose ends…to have relationships restored…to have prayers answered…to have my finances in tact…to have a clean home…to break unhealthy mindsets and habits…to experience every SINGLE thing that God had ordained for this current decade to come through before the season ended! To enjoy the suddenlies, miracles, signs and wonders reserved ONLY for this soon passing decade…to not miss a single bit of my inheritance for this current season and to have God totally blow me away with eleventh hour breakthroughs!!!

And oh my golly gosh…HE DID NOT DISAPPOINT…what I experienced over the final ten days of 2019 is truly mind blowing. The Lord in His dazzling kindness totally took the biscuit. He supernaturally restored every broken relationship, He blessed me with the most honouring extravagant, lavish closure over an ongoing situation that by His grace I was just stepping out of…blessed me financially…He gave me the best Christmas of my life, filled with love, authenticity and mind blowing prophetic words and confirmations, He floored me with the most incredible New Year’s Celebration where He dressed me up, treated me to a heavenly banquet, literally lavished me in royalty, dropping some more glorious proph bombs on me just to see the old decade out and then as I stepped over the threshold into 2020 He gave me the most delightful grace to step into a fasting season, drawing so much closer to Him and enjoying Him like never before. I mean I am literally UNDONE!!

I am still enjoying the fasting period with Him and He is continuously day by day shaping me, growing me, developing me, changing me, improving me. Blessings are literally overtaking me. And I know this is just the beginning. I had a look back at my blog a few days ago. I’ve been blogging for ten years and the adventure of God’s story in my life has been such a glorious journey. There have been many many storms…its’ been a bumpy ride but it has ALWAYS ALWAYS been sweetened by God’s presence and now as I sense the season’s changing and breakthrough of the most delightful kind kicking in…I am in awe…prayers and promises are about to be fulfilled in a glorious way over my life…I know it I know it I know it. I’m not bragging. Honestly. I just know that my life is about to showcase the glory and majesty of God in the most extraordinary way. And all the valley lows..the waiting…the trusting…the yielding has all been worth it…because I have just spent the last fifteen years of my life having the privilege of falling in love with Jesus and its been the sweetest adventure and the greatest honour of my life and I’m so excited about doing it all over again and again and again and again for the rest of my days because He is simply B.E.A.U.T.I.F.U.L…

But then the craziest thing about falling in love with Jesus is that you also step into all these crazy fringe benefits (Matthew 6:33) that come with the territory of being in a love affair with the Beautiful One…you don’t deserve all these crazy scandalous blessings but they just keep on coming and you get to experience them because its your inheritance and it’s crazy and totally unmerited but it’s your portion because He is our portion…and so I just know that I’m about to step into my inheritance in the most mind-blowing way even though that’s not even what drives me but I know it’s coming and all I can say is HELLLOOOOO inheritance…I AM SO SO READY FOR YOU!! 

Slayin Them Giants, Once And For All!

I’m writing this blog post to encourage anyone who is battling with insecurities. A while back I did a shoot for Authentic Magazine. I’d love to share a bit of the backstory, with a heart to release some freedom. You see, when the magazine approached me to do a cover story, it literally only really registered AFTER I said yes, that I would have to do an ACTUAL photo shoot. I am not kidding, when I say I was actually bricking it. The reason I was so nervous was because I struggle massively with strutting my stuff in front of a camera and ACTUALLY believing that I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

The honest truth is that, even though I’m often behind the camera, and run an image consultancy and am super passionate about calling out beauty in others - and even though I know 100% in my head that I am an image bearer of Christ and I am fully known and desired by God - nevertheless deep in my heart I can find it hard to accept this truth and as a result I often battle with feelings of insecurity. I am sure some of you can relate. It’s so silly. It’s such a lie. Yet it’s a reoccurring place of wrestle.

But I am SO glad I did say yes, because I was able to confront these dumb-arse fears, and get in front of that camera and just LET GO. By stepping ridiculously out of my comfort zone, by resisting my insecurities and choosing to believe afresh that I am who God says, I was able to slay those taunting giants and basically CHOP their heads off. And, it felt SOOO liberating. And because of this, these shoot pictures have become battle scars. Each one is meaningful to me. Each one has a story to tell and speaks of a lie that I had to wrestle with, confront and overcome - using weapons of God’s love and truth.

With this in mind, I would love to release this over anyone who needs to hear this today: “You are God’s masterpiece, just as you are - no matter what lies the enemy may try and tell you otherwise”. And I pray such a divine grace and courage over you if you find yourself on the battlefield, that you will courageously confront your giants today and slice the HEAD OFF of each and every one of them! x

Authentic Magazine

Eeeeek!!! I’m on the cover of a magazine!! Can you believe it?! BIG LOVE to the incredible editorial team at Authentic Magazine, led by super fabulous editor in chief Tendayi Mahachi for asking me to be their cover story for ISSUE 5! So honoured to be featured!

Authentic is a recently launched, fabulous Christian magazine that seeks to highlight giftings and personal journeys to bring encouragement to the many. What a joy it was to work with such a lovely, powerful, encouraging and kind bunch of beauties who all graft so hard for each edition.

Authentic Magazine, THANK YOU for the superrrrr long feature and all the love you have shown me. I’m stoked to have been part of this issue and still a bit baffed that you guys asked me!!! I pray untold people enjoy this latest magazine edition and are soooo blessed by the fabulous kingdom advancing, soul encouraging and love-drenched work of Authentic Magazine! You girlies rock!

Please do support their vision of uplifting women globally! To celebrate their launch, while stock lasts, the first 50 UK customers will get 50% off the magazine. A digital copy is also available, delivered straight to your device. Simply click here to bag your copy!

Sacred Sexuality Comes To Camarillo, California!

A few weeks ago I ran a Sacred Sexuality conference in California hosted by the amazing Jubilee Church and I’m SOOOOO ridiculously thankful to everyone that helped to make it happen, to those that served alongside me, those that prayed into it, those that championed and encouraged me, those that came and allowed themselves to be so vulnerable and naked! It was so powerful, liberating and led by God’s goodness, mercy, power, truth, hope and love! Humbled and excited.

I simply could not have done it without the support of Jubilee Church family and especially the crazy championing and sacrifice of the wonderful Diana Anderson and the Anderson family, as well at Peety and Noelle Escovedo! Was so touched by the Beastmode crew too! Undone and so thankful to you all!

Here’s my fave review:

“This teaching definitely rocked my life. I seriously have not been the same- it has changed my every day and even the way I parent! Just by opening my heart, and listening and learning , God came in like a flood to some hidden areas that desperately needed his TRUTH and lavish love. This teaching reminded me of God's glorious design and how much he wants to be a part of every detail in our lives (while the enemy baits us into getting busy and developing a lifestyle that squeezes intimacy OUT). I was so touched by the new friends I met and everyone's courage to be vulnerable . I'm Praying that all of our young adults and partners in Greece , Thailand , and the states watch this seminar, find the next one to attend LIVE and buy this book. Seeeeeriously!”

Looking forward to running more of these in 2020, here in London. Will keep you posted. Love love x

LIFE MATTERS

A while ago I was filmed by GOD TV for their powerful Life Matters Campaign and I spoke about God's incredible, incredible mercy and grace in my life. Not only did He save me from a life of drug and alcohol abuse, of promiscuity, self hate, shame and condemnation but He also forgave me and made me whole after having had two abortions.

When I had these two terminations I did not understand that I was taking the life of two unborn babies. I didn't understand nor, if I am to be honest, did I even truly care that the lives inside of me had a heartbeat, a functioning brain, developed organs, a destiny and a purpose. I was young, naive, scared and selfish. All I cared about was me, my own life, my own convenience and my own circumstances. Yet God is so kind and merciful. When I understood the gravity of my actions several years later, I repented wholeheartedly and God lavished me with forgiveness that I did not deserve - He cleansed me and washed me clean. He removed all guilt and shame and set me free from all condemnation.

Because of the love and Word of God and because of my own experiences I have truly come to know and understand and desperately value that no matter what, God has a glorious plan for each and every human life. Every single person, no matter how early in their conception is an image bearer of Christ, worthy of life and dignity. And none of us have the right to take another’s life, no matter how dire, impossible or difficult the circumstances surrounding a pregnancy may be. Yet there is so much divine mercy and comfort available for you if you have like me, aborted a child and there is also incredible courage, hope and strength available for you if you find yourself faced with an unwanted pregnancy. Please know that Jesus is so wanting to show His love, hope and grace to you and to help you choose life.

This is the God TV Life Matters Campaign where I share my own story of abortion. I sincerely pray this testimony of God’s love and mercy blesses and encourages you. It is my absolute honour, privilege and a mind-blowing redemptive blessing to be a voice for the pro-life movement and to honour the sanctity of life. x

Living in Light, Shining Bright in Sierra Leone

The last eleven days in Sierra Leone have been quite mind blowing, working with the beautiful, totally irresistible and super talented designers from Living Seeds - a business and training school founded by the incredible Nick and Kitty Marsh! Their heart’s desire is to train and empower young people in Sierra Leone to flourish, to come out of poverty and to not only see their own lives transformed but to help transform their own communities and nation. The focus of the vocational training offered at Living Seeds is fashion - and so yours truly was divinely connected with Nick and Kitty to come out here and help these gems launch their very own fashion label! Wow. To say that I am quite undone by the privilege I was given to pour into these incredible treasures and to witness the gold that came out, would be putting it lightly!

As I prepared to go out there I wasn’t even quite sure what to expect to be honest! I repeatedly prayed to God that He would use me to bless each person out there, asking Him to equip me not just naturally with skill, technique, craftsmanship and wisdom but supernaturally - with love, passion, compassion and celebration. And maaan, He did not disappoint. He was just soooo darn faithful that my heart is full, I am just so amazed at all that took place and God gets ALL the props!!!

It was such a joy to spend the first week helping them to understand the craft of pattern cutting and pattern marking. I was then able to teach them how to gather research to inspire their design work. I watched them create their very first mood boards and then create a series of initial designs from their freshly adorned boards before knocking the ball out of the park with their speed designing creations! I can’t tell you how impressed I am by their hunger, their diligence, their passion and commitment!

It was absolutely no surprise to me when they totally aced it with their prep for the fashion shoot during the second week! No matter what I asked them to do, no matter how many times they had to stitch and unstitch their garments they were so gracious and focused that I was literally floored with admiration!

On the day of the shoot. Well even the night before when we did the dress rehearsal they were spectacular. But shoot day…Oh my gosh. My heart. To watch these beautiful ones come so alive and grow in such confidence as they had their hair and make up done, as they all got ready for the camera… As they totally engaged and gave me one pose after another, coming out of themselves, taking risks and giving their all. The girls bringing it. The boys totally bringing it. So gloriously beautiful to see them shine so bright.

It rained all day during the shoot. Yet they were all amazing. As it chucked it down all around us, with hair and make up retouched twice already yet no sign of sunshine, light or a dry spell, they continued to be full of joy and peace. When we all started to worship whether it stopped raining or not, they all sung their hearts out. And then miraculously for about an hour it did stop raining and their all stepped up, striking their poses for the camera, moving here there and everywhere…totally committed, totally professional…totally delicious. The shots were incredible. I am just so proud.

And then with only one day left of the trip we went back to designing again, working on drawing and presenting their final design idea and then producing technical drawings for each design. Slightly tired and weary from the shoot the day before as I began to explain their task for the day I could tell they weren't sure what they were doing and lacked confidence. Yet what developed through the day enlarged my heart no end. As they gained momentum and saw their design work coming together they became so encouraged.

They were SO amazed. They had never even considered that they would one day know how to draw and apply colour. Yet here they were literally enamoured by the work of their hands and the fruit of their labour. When we all presented our work at the end of the day each and everyone of them gushed with pride at their new found ability to draw. Not a single one of them remained the same.

‘Yet they weren’t the only ones that have been changed. I have been forever marked by this beautiful company of young people. Each one of them has a story. Many of them are heart breaking, but here at Living Seeds each of them is truly flourishing despite their history. Despite their circumstances or their misfortunes. Each of them knows the Lord. Each and every one of them is living in His love. They have truly been given beauty for ashes.

They have experienced such glorious redemption in God that many of them refuse to leave. It’s so deliciously insane. Literally many of them graduated the school years ago and could receive support to build there own small businesses but they choose to stay at the school - part of the family. Part of the community. Refusing to leave the hub of love that Nick, Kitty, Agnes and Tamba have fostered over the last seven years.

And this is what I experienced over the last eleven days. An incredibly humbling, heart exploding community that embraced me so lovingly, who learnt from me so enthusiastically, so readily, so passionately…who taught me afresh what it means to be hungry, diligent and committed. Oh how I love them and I am just so so proud of them. I’m so in awe of all of them and blown away by the work being done out there. What an utter privilege and honour to be able to sow into their beautiful lives and to use my gifts and abilities to help a nation flourish. Wow. Totally and utterly wow.

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